Monday, May 9, 2011

A Roll Model is Toast

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes. 

H/T Kresta in the Afternoon 


innominatus said...

Hee. My pastor managed to sneak this same joke into a sermon just a couple weeks ago.

John Carey said...

Very clever Teresa. :o)

amanofwonder said...

Late breaking news.


As his final request the Doughboy asked that he be leavened with copius quantities of yeast at his funeral. Many thought this odd since said ingredient was the hastening to his demise.

Alas he was no dumpling. As the temperature began to cool Doughboy began to arise and soon he was born again as Big Doughman.

Just goes to show a little leaven goes along way when you go out as a lump.

The Born Again American said...


Anonymous said...

I'll miss good old John Dough

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

He will be missed!

Leticia said...

May he RIP.

This was pretty cute, Teresa, thanks for the chuckle.