Sunday, January 31, 2010

An Amusing Story of a Scheme

I found this hilarious story about a scheme forcing early retirement on citizens who are 50-years old and older due to the financial crisis on Velcro's wonderful blog, The Nematode.

"Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.


The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)"


The Conservative Lady said...

Good one...and sounds like it could be true.

Velcro said...

Wow thanks, Teresa!

Amusing Bunni said...

This is hilarious, thanks for posting Teresa.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

I have just one question. Does this apply to federal workers and the Congress ?

Opus #6 said...

This has me LMAO! Really great post!

cube said...

Heh heh. There is truth is humor sometimes, eh?